Sorry for everything
by Holland92
Summary: Elsa has feelings for her sister Anna and doesn't know what to do. Along with everything she has done and caused hanging heavily on her conscience, she does something drastic. Trigger Warning - Icest and Suicide


**AN: Just a one shot, these might pop up every now and then depending on my mood when I sit down to write.**

 **Set several weeks after The Great Thaw Elsa knows she has feelings for her sister, and she doesn't know what to do with herself**

 **Trigger Warnings – Suicide. Icest.**

 **As you can see from the summary this one was born from a bit of depression and what not.**

 **But still hope you enjoy and welcome to...**

 **Sorry for Everything -**

 _Sat alone in this dark room I cant help but feel alone. The Great Thaw made me realise I am not alone, but this feeling of emptiness and sorrow just wont go away. I would always have the people of Arendelle, who I promised to protect and serve even though I let them down by destroying their crops and damaging their homes with my powers._

 _I would always have Kai and Gerda, who have become like my second parents, caring for me still to this day, long after my parents untimely deaths. I could never repay them for the gratitude I have for them._

 _And I have my sister Anna, who sacrificed herself so I would not perish at the sword of Hans. But if I could have just concealed my powers and controlled them, then Anna would not have perished at all. No matter which way I look at the situation it was always all my fault, if I just controlled my fears and anger at my coronation this would never of happened. Although Hans' true intentions may have gone undetected a bit longer I would have soon enough seen what he was up to._

 _But I don't really have my dearest sister, not in the way I wish. My coronation was one of the most terrifying things I have ever had to participate in. After spending so much time alone been in front of so many people, my many different backgrounds. Most of them friends and allies of my parents. But just been in the vicinity of Anna created butterflies in my stomach, her smell, berries and summer made my knees weak just been close to her. If I could have just reached out and touched it. I think my powers may have come to light a lot sooner. And when she stared into my eyes, that's when I knew, I was in love with her._

 _But now, she is happy with that Kristoff, I hold no grudges towards him, he is a great man and makes Anna happy. In such a way that I never could, he has my blessing to care and love her how she deserves to be._

 _These are not powers, I can create ice and snow, they feel more like a curse. Hurting the people I care for and love the most. I no longer have the desire to live. If I was to die tonight, the world would be a better place, nobody would have to fear the next time I lose control and destroy everything they own, they wouldn't have to be afraid of if I was to use this curse as a weapon. And most of all they would no longer have to fear me in general._

 _And you Anna, would never be disgusted by me, for having these feelings for you, which are sick and wrong. I wish I had never developed these feelings, for then we could be the sisters that we deserve to be. After so much isolation from each other I think that is the least that we deserved._

 _But I had to ruin it didn't I? If you was to know how I feel you would be ashamed, disgusted and down right embarrassed of me. If the people knew how I feel I would be burnt at the stake, regardless of my status as their queen._

 _Which is why after tonight Anna, you will be their new queen. Someone who they know they can trust, and someone they love. You have a special talent Anna, you could melt the coldest of hearts, and I know this since my heart was one of the coldest until you thawed it with your love._

 _Maybe one day you can forgive me Anna, for having these twisted feelings for you, for leaving you tonight. But I know you will not be alone, you will have the people to support you, you will have the trolls for guidance, and you will have your eventual husband Kristoff._

 _And I will always be by your side. Loving you as a sister, not a lover, for the rest of your days, watching you and your children and grandchildren play together. And maybe even one day tell them about me, but not these incestuous feelings I have._

 _I do not have much time left now before you will wake from your slumber so this is where the story ends my love, I hope one day you will forgive me and will see you again one day._

 _I love you Anna, with all of my heart and beyond._

 _I'm sorry for everything_

 _Elsa._

Setting the quill down, Elsa folded the letter and poured wax in a small circle on the back of the paper. Stamping it down with the official crest of Arendelle.

Walking out of her room she took a small walk down to Anna's door, kneeling down at the door she slipped the letter under the door and stood up. Realising that shortly she would never see her again, she opened the door to Anna's room and stepped in. Walking slowly to her sisters bed, careful not to wake her she got to her bed and gazed upon the beauty in front of her, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. Feeling some confidence in knowing it would not matter soon she leant down into Anna's face, feeling her breath on her face she closed her eyes, small tears falling from them.

"I love you Anna, with all my heart. And i'm going to miss you everyday" she whispered, barely stopping herself from breaking down and crying, she pressed her lips softly to Anna's if not just for a second.

"Goodbye Anna" Elsa Stood up, wiping the now frozen tears from her eyes. She walked out of Anna's room, for the final time.

Finally back in her own room, Elsa takes a deep breath and walks to the window ' _It will be dawn soon'_ she muses ' _best get this show on the road'_

Stepping onto the chair at her desk, takes the rope already knotted into a noose and puts it around her neck. She stands there, tears falling from her face, snow flurrying around her, unable to make the final push towards her final goal.

Until she hears banging on her locked bedroom door. "ELSA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Anna screams through the door "OPEN UP RIGHT NOW!" She is banging on the door now, trying to smash it down with her own hands. "Please don't leave me alone" She pleaded through the thick wood.

"I'm sorry, this is for the best Anna" Elsa whispered before kicked the chair from under her feet.

The feeling was sudden, all air was been forced from her lungs, no more air was entering her body. Elsa squirmed at first, suddenly afraid of what she was doing, but the less air in her body, the less she was afraid.

Feeling the end drawing near her eyes fluttered open and closed. Getting heavier with every moment. When a blurred figure came into her vision, if not for a second she would have thought it was Anna if it wasn't for the fact her door was locked shut. ' _I'm sorry for everything, my one true love'_ She thought before her eyes closed. For the final time.


End file.
